heartbeat ♥ ;

09 February 2010 @ 09:52 pm

The best way to get to heaven is to take it with you. - Henry Drummond

I am currently writing here in notepad since livejournal won't open.

Sooo yeah, Hi. me again.

I didn't go to school this morning. I wasn't feeling all perked up when I woke up at 5am so I went back to sleep again then woke up at 10 already.. it's ok for me to skip classes today cos all the 4th year teachers are out to be proctors for the 5th grade examination thingy. so theres actually nothing to do at school.

Today turned out to be a lazy day, I went to the dentist and then to SM. I ate alone at McDonald's this afternoon. for thee first time. and I was so uncomfortable. I couldn't cut my chicken cos for some reason I felt like everyone was staring at me... and I couldn't look at the people around me. It was awkward but I was too hungry to think.

Also I have realized that I am not into movies lately. I haven't seen Avatar, New Moon (but Ive read half the book), Up, Paranormal Activity (I already saw some parts of it. I was doing something else when they were watching it eh), Lovely Bones and all the other interesting movies the past months (or the latest ones). But I guess its ok it doesnt really affect me. I don't get left out on the music world anyway - can't stand a day w/o my music.

So many thoughts today that I wanna write!

I saw the video of our dance performance last October a while ago. Then I remembered all the hard work we gave to that dance, I remembered the practice everyday after school for one and a half week, the laughtrips during practice and the closeness we all had cos of that. To those 10 girls I danced with, just wanted to say that I miss those times :) All the videos, all the praises the group got and everything! Ang ganda! Ngaun ko lang naapreciate. My background music right now is currently the remixed music we danced to. Haayy, geezz. Didn't think that random stuff would be coming into my head today

Then to end this lenghty post.. Thank you for the '471' views. I seriously dont know where theyre coming from, but thank you. I got shocked a while ago cos of the number. Thank you froom the bottom of my little heart (: I want to hug all of you, but yall know that aint realistic. Im excited to view my friends page tonight when LJ gets ok. Lets all be friendds. <3

Wait.
Omg, just got off the phone. He called. *blushes*

That is all.

Talkk to me.

; my heartbeat

Current Mood:

happy

Current Music: Read my post (:

Leave a comment

Customize

07 February 2010 @ 09:02 pm

As far as I can go..

If you want to be happy, be. - Unknown

Hello readers and writers <3

Had a good weekend. Celebrated my two close friend's birthday and stayed overnight. Stayed up til the sun came up. Laughed the whole time. Had fun.

Lately I feel like Im going to be sick... I get headaches and backaches from time to time these days, cause I always sleep late then wake up really early for school.

One close friend and I are planning on not going out for awhile. You know, stay at home this week. and I like that and Im dying to do that, I mean Im always up to something everyday... I get tired too and yeaah, Im going to have a quick rest. Want to refresh myself <3

Anyway, this video below almost made me cry like crazeyy.

Sulat Ni Nanay At Tatay,

Youshouldwatchittoo

Good dayyyy.

Current Mood:

mellow

Current Music: I Wanted You.

4 comments | Leave a comment

01 February 2010 @ 01:26 pm

Love. <3

I´m lucky just to linger in your life. - Smile, Uncle Kracker

So, it's been a week since I last wrote. Im doing good right now if youre wondering, Im okayy, just the ordinary everyday feeling. But I still feel physically unrelieved.

Anyway, today is the first day of February. Today at school we weren't wearing uniforms, we wore any red or pink shirt/dress to welcome the love month. I wore a pink blouse, skinny jeans and sandals. And since we were all wearing diff. outfits/civilian, I had an idea of how college would look like. And it's sooo Nice. Haha. I laughed the whole day at school.. well, almost. In our classroom this morning while the teacher was in front, my seatmate whispered something that really made me laugh. And that was definitely my favorite moment for todayy. My eyes were already teary cause I was stopping myself from laughing until all I could do was just cover my face with the textbook or with my hair then soundlessly laughed it all out. I so love those people. Speaking about classmates and school stuff, we dont have prom. and it succkkks

Yesterday night, got the chance to talk to my mom and I am so sad to hear that she isn't coming home for my graduation. I feel bad to have no mom to come up on stage with. Sigh. Anyway my mom left a long sweet comment at my previous post, and it's really touching. I miss her and I cant do anythin about it. All I can really do is chat with her.

January 2010 was a great month, especially bcos I know I mostly spent the first three weeks with him and.. <3 I hope February would top January. I am sooo hoping Feb would be better. Just a few more weeks and it's my high school graduation na. I am just so thrilled to graduate.

That is all.
How are you today ~?

<3

Current Mood:

hopeful

Current Music: Smile (Uncle Kracker)

7 comments | Leave a comment

25 January 2010 @ 02:13 pm

My favorite person today.

Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens. The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. - J.Steinbeck

What do you think about this picture? I look like a boy, right? and I like it. This was taken last Friday, when I was not really acting normal and I was going crazy laughing my heart out. I turned the picture upside down to make it look more boyish. I look like those Asian guys in those shampoo commercials. Hhhmm.

ANYWAY.
Today.

Saw my test results at school, and I wasn't quite happy about it. I wrote an autobiography last night for my English project and I ended up writing about my mom and how wonderful she is. Don't you just love it when you have someone you can love all your life... and the funny thing is that I never picked my mom to be my mom, she was just there and Im lucky to have her as mine. Woo, there. I can't stop speaking about my mom again. Mom, I miss you. Leave a comment when you read this.

I've been feeling so much stress these days that I do things Im not supposed to. I just wanna be relieved. I haven't slept for more than 6 hours since Christmas vacation, no wonder Im so short. But it's true, for the past days, or since January started, I sleep around 1am to 2am just because I feel like it. For school days, I sleep at 12-1am then wake up at 5am. And when I force myself to fall asleep at around 10pm, nothing happens. I just lie awake in the bed for God knows til what time. and no one looks cool with those eye bags.

Hey. May I just ask, why are boys so insensitive. Not really all of them but most of the guys I know are. They tell you this and that and other sweet stuff but then they will ignore you when you come around anytime they feel like it. Then they'll come back. Then again, again, and *@$@# again. Boys.. Yeah. sometimes I wish I was one of those girls who don't really care at all. I hope girls like me can really hear what Im saying right now :(

He's gonna be in the show business now (well, sort of) and I am expecting that we are soo gonna lose our closeness again/or whatever it's called. But I know at the end, right, Im gonna be left behind. Once more. Like before. Like last year and the other year. like all my life .wtf am I saying?

I am so bored.

Current Mood:

it doesnt matter.

Current Music: Holiday. <3

14 comments | Leave a comment

Customize

20 January 2010 @ 01:16 pm

I can get it back, but I don't want it back.

What do you say to jumping off the edge? Never knowing if there's solid ground below or hand to hold, or hell to pay. - Taking Chances.

We had no classes last Monday. So I spent half the day with him <3 and with his friends. I enjoyed their company, sobra, I laughed the whole time.. But when I got home, I wasn't that happy like I used to be every time I see him, I mean, I should be happy...

Another reason for me to be supposedly happy is that yesterday morning I got back to my class. Im with my classmates again. I thought now that I was sent back to the 4th year, my life would be even better. But no, he had to act that way. Why can't my life be balanced? Like just for one time in my life everything's right. I totally dont understand whats up with him these days but Im gonna act like I do, cos.. bcos.. you know why.

I am so stressed. I wanna sleep and sleep and sleeeepp and not eat. I wish I had the guts to throw my phone away. I feel really bad and stupid, also a bit senseless. And yes, I feel so ugly. Am I.. I just can't smile here right now.

I haven't actually told anyone about this. Im too shy for them to know that I always feel bad about something from time to time. Like ayan nanaman, Im gonna make kwento nnamn about something not good. Haaaayyy. Kawawa.

And just Look at my *@$@# blog, the previous posts I was just really happy and then now I crash down like this. I think my life so funny. and it won't bother me right now if you laugh at it/me. My emotions fade away/change so quick and it sucks. But I like blogging when Im sad, it makes me feel a bit better... unexplainable reason why. and I know those who like writing know what I mean.

Thanks forr reading. xx
Kill me now for being sad over a boy.

| edit | January 21 2010 | 12 27 pm
Hello. Am I on a roller coaster, cos I'm feeling fine already. I GUESS it's ok now. But Im still stupid for saying those stuffs and worrying about such things. I felt so bad yesterday.. but don't get me wrong, I still feel kinda sick today, physically. This is really funny. I should have thought about this really carefully before writing it down this wayy. But Thanks for those who left a comment. It's nice to know people still read my scrawls. ♥

Current Mood:

lethargic

Current Music: Taking Chances (Glee).

8 comments | Leave a comment

Advertisement

Advertisement