It's been really hard waking up everyday knowing that the one you love doesn't love you back anymore.
I want to be at school everyday since last week. Cos at school I have realized, I forget all my problems and worries. Being with my friends is cool too - with the same reason. But when Im left alone, I think bad thoughts. I think about the past. I see the pictures and the text messages that I don't want to delete. I DO NOT WANT TO DELETE IT OKAY. I pray every night but some part of me doesn't want to help myself.
So many things happened already while I was gone. School, lovelife, friends, hang outs, whole world, me. What happened to me? Well, I thought I would be better? But, pish posh. Whatever.
I'm such a stupid thing. I wrote back to my journal just to say all these drama stuff again when it's the reason why I left. I can't help it, I didn't know it was this hard. And I don't care anymore who reads this. Sorry :( I can't go to my friends anymore, I can't cry to them, I feel so stupid, what if they're sick of my stories :( Now I stumble all back to my heartbeat, my home. I stumble back to where my thoughts should lay all along. That even though I say stupid things my fellow writers will not hate me. Life has been boring without writing. Don't do what I did. Resisted writing for a week.
There's nothing left.
So yeah, goodbye again.