?

Log in

christella alcabasa
06 March 2010 @ 06:06 pm
I forgave him when he said hello. - Gerry McGuire.

It's been really hard waking up everyday knowing that the one you love doesn't love you back anymore. 

I want to be at school everyday since last week. Cos at school I have realized, I forget all my problems and worries. Being with my friends is cool too - with the same reason. But when Im left alone, I think bad thoughts. I think about the past. I see the pictures and the text messages that I don't want to delete. I DO NOT WANT TO DELETE IT OKAY. I pray every night but some part of me doesn't want to help myself.

So many things happened already while I was gone. School, lovelife, friends, hang outs, whole world, me. What happened to me? Well, I thought I would be better? But, pish posh. Whatever. 

I'm such a stupid thing. I wrote back to my journal just to say all these drama stuff again when it's the reason why I left. I can't help it, I didn't know it was this hard. And I don't care anymore who reads this. Sorry :( I can't go to my friends anymore, I can't cry to them, I feel so stupid, what if they're sick of my stories :( Now I stumble all back to my heartbeat, my home. I stumble back to where my thoughts should lay all along. That even though I say stupid things my fellow writers will not hate me. Life has been boring without writing. Don't do what I did. Resisted writing for a week. 

*sigh*

There's nothing left.

Ohhhh dear...


So yeah, goodbye again. 

 
 
Current Mood: busy.
Current Music: Half crazy..
 
 
christella alcabasa
18 February 2010 @ 10:46 pm
There are many things I would like to say but I dont know how. -Wonderwall

Um, people, I won't be writing for the meantime. I have removed all links of my blog in my other sites. I am anxious about my blog and the stuff I say. I have decided to just stop writing paragraphs and I'd just stick to shorts sentences. Less talk less mistake. I don't know if everything I say here are all right and unoffensive, so I guess it's just better for me to stop for a while. I mean, everything I say here is pure drama about him and I should be ashamed of myself I shouldn't be talking like that :| I should give myself a break. *wipes teardrop* I'll be leaving my updates on my twitter account /tellalish. Follow if you want to.

Ok, this will be like, a quick post, then I'm leaving.

(I wrote this 2 hours ago in notepad)
I feel sad when he's not around and I'm all alone.
When will I ever learn. o_o

But I'm ok at school, Im treasuring every moment of highschool and I can't believe I'll be on college soon. I mean, srsly? I don't know, I just feel like things are gonna be so different when i step into college. Haay. Right now i am not really thrilled about what's gonna happen next week. We have no classes for one whole week and yey I should be celebrating but I don't feel anything today. My friends make plans and when they ask me and I go like 'Oo sige text niyo lang ako' and that's definitely not me. I usually go hooray and glad when we make plans.

Besides my heart, everything else is good. Being in school is unbelievably fun these days, laughing til my stomach hurts, teamwork, fellowship. What would I be without them.

Gonna sleep over at my cousin's house on the weekend and will be very busy hanging out next week. Kami lang ang may sem break ng February, wow. *sigh* I want this to be fun.


Haha nakaka tawa ako, pa bago-bago talaga as in pabago-bago. Pag malungkot ako post agad, pag masaya ako post rin naman agad.. Can't help my annoying self.

I wish I could hear what I sound like.





 
; my heartbeat
 
 
Current Mood: exanimateok ?
Current Music: Suddenly ♥
 
 
christella alcabasa
15 February 2010 @ 02:32 pm
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life - it goes on. - Robert Frost

Valentine's Day turned out to be unexpectedly special for me (:

Lunch time I went to my cousin's place and spent the afternoon with them. Watched the first part of Paranormal Activity and wasn't able to finish it.. again. So we played with our baby cousins instead.

Then when I got home at around 7, I went to a friend's birthday party and he was there. Spent the whole evening with him and his friends and had so much fun. Went home at around 11 30 or 11 I think. Took pictures (didn't upload all our pictures), ate and laughed and enjoyed. This is my favorite day with him so far. There are so many words that came out from his mouth that I cannot get out of my head. He is one special guy and I have realized... I dont have to regret anything after all. I have decided ;)

:)Collapse )

Happy Heart's Day.


Hope things went well for you too.


PS Just puhleasseee leave me alone and let me write what I feel :|

 
 
Current Mood: loved(:
Current Music: None.
 
 
christella alcabasa
09 February 2010 @ 09:52 pm
The best way to get to heaven is to take it with you. - Henry Drummond

I am currently writing here in notepad since livejournal won't open. 

Sooo yeah, Hi. me again.

I didn't go to school this morning. I wasn't feeling all perked up when I woke up at 5am so I went back to sleep again then woke up at 10 already.. it's ok for me to skip classes today cos all the 4th year teachers are out to be proctors for the 5th grade examination thingy. so theres actually nothing to do at school.

Today turned out to be a lazy day, I went to the dentist and then to SM. I ate alone at McDonald's this afternoon. for thee first time. and I was so uncomfortable. I couldn't cut my chicken cos for some reason I felt like everyone was staring at me... and I couldn't look at the people around me. It was awkward but I was too hungry to think.

Also I have realized that I am not into movies lately. I haven't seen Avatar, New Moon (but Ive read half the book), Up, Paranormal Activity (I already saw some parts of it. I was doing something else when they were watching it eh), Lovely Bones and all the other interesting movies the past months (or the latest ones). But I guess its ok it doesnt really affect me. I don't get left out on the music world anyway - can't stand a day w/o my music.

So many thoughts today that I wanna write!

I saw the video of our dance performance last October a while ago. Then I remembered all the hard work we gave to that dance, I remembered the practice everyday after school for one and a half week, the laughtrips during practice and the closeness we all had cos of that. To those 10 girls I danced with, just wanted to say that I miss those times :) All the videos, all the praises the group got and everything! Ang ganda! Ngaun ko lang naapreciate. My background music right now is currently the remixed music we danced to. Haayy, geezz. Didn't think that random stuff would be coming into my head today

Then to end this lenghty post.. Thank you for the '471' views. I seriously dont know where theyre coming from, but thank you. I got shocked a while ago cos of the number. Thank you froom the bottom of my little heart (: I want to hug all of you, but yall know that aint realistic. Im excited to view my friends page tonight when LJ gets ok. Lets all be friendds. <3

 Wait.
Omg, just got off the phone. He called. *blushes*

That is all. 

Talkk to me.

 

 
; my heartbeat

 
 
Current Mood: happyhappy
Current Music: Read my post (:
 
 
christella alcabasa
25 January 2010 @ 02:13 pm
Don't worry about losing. If it is right, it happens. The main thing is not to hurry. Nothing good gets away. - J.Steinbeck

I've been feeling so much stress these days that I do things Im not supposed to. I just wanna be relieved. I haven't slept for more than 6 hours since Christmas vacation, no wonder Im so short.. 

Ok so he's gonna be in the show business now (well, sort of) and I am expecting that we are soo gonna lose us again. Tss who cares I know at the end, right, Im gonna be left behind. Once more.  Like what you did before. Like last year and the other year. like all my life .. Hay.
 
I am so bored.
 
 
Current Mood: crazyit doesnt matter.
Current Music: Holiday. <3